She gets physically assaulted, grabbed and pulled, but she escapes thanks to Turbo Granny - her lucky cat powers cause the wall to fall on them and expose the gators to some neighboring people.

For all of human history men and women came together to form families. It may have been common, it may have been routine, but that is what they did. Generation after generation, for all of human history, men and women formed families.

That is until now.

Because with advances in technology, incredible economic growth, a generous welfare state, and the political movement of feminism, men and women no longer need each other in order to survive. And as much as we'd like to deny it, when given the choice, men and women are empirically and increasingly choosing to be alone. By 2030 45% of marriage-age women are forecasted to be single, rendering a same percent of men equally so. 70% of both men and women are overweight, indicating little serious interest in attracting a mate. Marriage ranks 5th place on women's priority list. And 1 in 3 marrying-age men live with their parents. And all that with crippling college debt that makes having a family a luxury most will never afford.

But the solution is not to reverse or somehow undo the forces that got us here. Those political, economic, and sociological forces are simply unstoppable. Marriage is not coming back, certainly not in your lifetime. The solution is to give up hope. The solution is to stoically accept this fate. Because whether you'd like to admit it or not, only 1 in every 2 of you are going to get married (and only 1 in 8 of you who do will be happy!). And thus the real risk you face is not “never getting married” or “never having a family,” but wasting your one and preciously-short life pursuing something that is statistically unlikely to happen.

Unfortunately, this dark reality leaves half the population in an existential lurch. Without family, marriage, love, or a loving spouse, what do people have to live for in life? You are here after all, and you have to do something with your 80 years of consciousness on this planet. So unless you're going to kill yourself, your existence forces you to find a purpose and reason to live. You cannot merely “exist.” And so, most people today and into the future are faced with the arduous task of finding purpose and meaning in life, absent the opposite sex.

Thus, “The Menu.”

Though humanity has never been to the point where women and men abandoned one another before, that doesn't mean there is not a limitless number of things life offers that gives it value. Whether it's hobbies, vice, philosophy, religion, your career, or your friends, the world offers a limitless menu for you to choose from. A never-ending buffet of things you can do, pursue, enjoy, and become during your 80 year visit here. And while it may not be what 2 million years of genetics are screaming at you to want, it's superior to falling in love and having a family, simply because it's possible. It's at least on “The Menu.” And so you face a very simple question. Do you want to spend yet another night at home, playing video games, jerking off to porn, and downing some Mountain Dew? Do you want to drink another bottle...or two...of wine while you watch yet another Hallmark movie? Or do you want to put on your big girl panties, cowboy up, acknowledge there is no one out there for you, and make this life count as much as you possibly can?

You're going to die. There's no doubt about that. The question is if you're going to live. Order something from “The Menu.”