The problem is they they’re just designed to eat and get chonky. If they had invested in cool ninja combat during evolution, scientists believe they would be not only more likely to survive, but be a lot cooler.

“Four score and seven years ago…what’s happing to me!?”

For some reason I always read hemoglobin as hemo-goblin. I watched Lord of the Rings too much.

Grandpa, how are you?

BEEP. I AM GOOD BILLY. KILL ALL HUMANS…I MEAN…TACOS.

DS9 does need more beef jerky scenes.

I want a shirt that just says “Drugs.”

Come on fellas, what screams democrat?

“Boob. Communist tattoo? Oh, sexy outfits.”

Could hell look like a WWE match with a royal rumble? Mayhaps.

Historians refuse to debate if Paddington Bear was in Berlin in 1945.

Looks a bit like a dentist office, at least in this room.

Now you will witness the firepower of a fully armed and operational…Borg…cube thingy!

This classic fall look says, “Whatever, let’s boil” and isn’t that what Armani is all about?

For the last time Mr. Mittens…a “royal rumble” is not supported in this edition.

Wow, that’s way further out into the ocean than I thought.

Lot of striking out in sexy old Mexico.

Time to get rock hard.

I pictured an intense scene involving photo shop and a cartoony hat with dramatic music.

What’s wrong? You haven’t tried you Protactinium pancakes.

Why is that chicken smoking in the maternity ward?

“Don’t. Just don’t man. AVOID that chicken.”

Sorry, the (Etherial screaming) device is broken.