I've seen multi distro scripts that are also able to bootstrap their own assets for each distro/architecture. Don't see why you wouldn't be able to check that considering /etc/os-release exists in pretty much every unix like environment.
And having it run on a specific shell type could also be an option.
If you are located in the US, I have some data center space. Reach out to me and we can talk about it if you're interested.