He summed it up well. I really wanted to fly in China as well, but the Chinese medical regs are actually among the most strict in the world. I had it ruled out long ago. There are decades long career pilots who go from the West to China and fail their medical.
I've for sure made errors before, but it's hard to say if ADHD was the cause of those errors. In the end everyone makes mistakes in their training, and I know lots of people that have fucked up far worse then I ever have.
And I understand it's somewhat irrational. Thank you and everyone who is telling me to keep on, I'll look in to speaking to a lawyer. I need to go through my medical records as well and see if I was ever officially diagnosed. You are all right I shouldn't give up so easily now.