I felt the same way before and I think this is a good time to start reflecting.
First, find a good time when both of you are emotionally stable to ask them what they expect their partner to do. Try not to argue with each other here and remember their response. Then, think about your own expectations and compare them. Are they compatible? Are they fair to you? How have they met your or their own expectations? How much have you changed your expectations/actions to meet their needs/tastes, and how much have they? Do realize that you've been in the relationship for quite a while now. Make sure you don't get too emotional thinking about this either.
I really want them to take on more responsibility.
I'm going to guess here that you have talked to your partner about how you want them to change, and that you think love includes wanting them to grow. If you have also expressed your needs like appreciation and reciprocation and they have not responded with action, then you should keep in mind that they are wearing out your love. If the situation continues, you will realize oneday that you no longer love your partner.
At this point take a few days to think about what you're going to do in the future. Maybe you are going to change your actions and wait for your partner to grow one last time. Maybe you don't want to let go. Maybe you decide you want to end the relationship now. If it has anything to do with breaking up or a condition for it, stick with it. Going back on that almost always ends up in a worse relationship or a break up anyways.
And side note, your relationship does not sound healthy for your mental health. Please take care of yourself!
I felt the same way before and I think this is a good time to start reflecting.
First, find a good time when both of you are emotionally stable to ask them what they expect their partner to do. Try not to argue with each other here and remember their response. Then, think about your own expectations and compare them. Are they compatible? Are they fair to you? How have they met your or their own expectations? How much have you changed your expectations/actions to meet their needs/tastes, and how much have they? Do realize that you've been in the relationship for quite a while now. Make sure you don't get too emotional thinking about this either.
I'm going to guess here that you have talked to your partner about how you want them to change, and that you think love includes wanting them to grow. If you have also expressed your needs like appreciation and reciprocation and they have not responded with action, then you should keep in mind that they are wearing out your love. If the situation continues, you will realize oneday that you no longer love your partner.
At this point take a few days to think about what you're going to do in the future. Maybe you are going to change your actions and wait for your partner to grow one last time. Maybe you don't want to let go. Maybe you decide you want to end the relationship now. If it has anything to do with breaking up or a condition for it, stick with it. Going back on that almost always ends up in a worse relationship or a break up anyways.
And side note, your relationship does not sound healthy for your mental health. Please take care of yourself!