For me personally it was just total disgust with my body and identity. Being in my skin felt wrong, being told to man up felt like an impossible task, and every day felt like I was putting on an act to try to conform to this image of what I was supposed to be that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with. I guess you can say I hated being a man, but I also felt an incredibly strong sense of envy towards women/the feminine form and spent many nights as a kid falling asleep hoping that if I wished hard enough I'd wake up and be a girl. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it was an inexplicable, inescapable source of misery and I just desperately hoped for some way out.

When I finally got a bit older and found myself desiring to transition, it was not at all a comfortable prospect. Even though I had already experimented with women's clothing and makeup all throughout my childhood, the idea of actually turning my whole world upside down socially was really intimidating. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but it was all so worth it in the end. Sorry if that answer was a bit excessive for your question, I figured it was mostly pertinent