Maybe it is more than an instance. Maybe it is an idea, a world-historical vanguard, light itself. 
actual attempt to answer (cringe)
We’ve been around for three years on a lemmy fork before federation. The lack of federation for years as well as the place we splintered off from (/r/chapotraphouse) already having a unique microculture within Reddit has given this instance, in my opinion, a distinct culture compared to general-purpose and even other hobbyist instances.
Regarding specifics, Hexbear is a vehemently queer-friendly/intersectional anti-sectarian socialist instance. Check us out 
Yeah, it's always "I support nonbinary people" until they hear what any nonbinary gender actually is. Then straight back to transphobia, do not pass go, do not collect 200$
I think I would have been treated just the same if I were cactusgender, diamondgender, or spacegender.
you're probably right. hopefully it's better now.