It's a bowling date. Very first ball. When the clerk asked my name I said Mr. Balls and it's on the scoreboard above me. All the pressure in the world is on my shoulders like Atlas. I turn to face my date, announce that "This is why they call me Mr. Balls", and throw it down the lane. The stars align and I get my only strike of the night.

That is why they call me Mr. Balls.

  • happybadger [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 year ago

    You need to summon spiritual energy to do balls magick. You have to genuinely believe that you are Mr. Balls, then the universe is bent to your will.

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I pitched nothing but balls and everyone was very disappointed.

      My date even said "Maybe you're just not cut out to be a pitcher".

      • happybadger [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        1 year ago

        There's your problem. You tried to be Mr. Balls in a game where "ball" means a bad thing. You pitched nothing but balls which proves that it's a mystical power.

        • emizeko [they/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Mr. Balls could be a good thing if you were a super hitter that got walked all the time

          but half of those players would probably think you were talking about their roid-shriveled testicles