You think you're going to rule Alsace? We're in 843 motherfucker. You are a serf. You need to give your lord the grain.

We could make an effort to forgo infantile humor,  ...

I can't help but notice that even the mods are kind of meta in what they remove.

Show

They could have said "target of", or "object of", but instead...

That feather in his cap... please tell me it's not some cultural costume, and that he just calls it a-macaroni.

Our anus, comrade.

YOU WOULDN'T CUT OUT A PURSE

A few years back, shortly after the judicial coup (car wash), there was an explainer comic going around about the situation. It mentioned how "they got rid of the very popular squid" and "now have a president who is literally called mr. fear".

• Make a promise to my future self that I'm gonna give em one small thing to feel better about.

• Put my subconscious internal dialogue into words, out loud or written. As soon as I talk about it, it seems more manageable.

I stole this from another Bear:

• Think of something you'd much less rather be doing, compared to the thing you need to do. This works better if it's an option that's been presented to you before, rather than a total hypothetical.

You may be pleased to know that this user was posting in frustration about how their weight loss medicine took them down from 220 pounds to 165 pounds, but wouldn't take them any further.

"Comfortable" just isn't good enough for these affluence-fiends.

I had a Western-style birthday party when I turned 7. It was fun and my parents put maybe 20 hours of preparation and $200 into it, at most. Every other birthday party was generic and I didn't care.

Employers hiring for 40 hours a week (empty line)

Employers hiring for 35.9 hours a week (crowded queue)

We demand a utopian future where one can stream in the morning, game in the afternoon, and podcast after dinner without ever becoming a streamer, gamer, or podcaster.

To find an exception to the continent's racism, for an instant you think "But the pioneers of political and religious liberty, of nonbelligerence and refuge, the Swiss!"

Then you consider the Swiss for a slight moment longer and thus perishes the thought.

And a little bit of turkey fried

Big house has a swift demise

Bolster it by making a subrdt for Chevrusaders.

Deus Volt!

Germany. France, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Romania, Hungary, are all starting to turn against atlanticism as well.

adding austria to scribble a dick on the map to spite europe

mellowed Hitler of peace and tolerance

Damn this really defies satire.

Someone who eats lunch right after noon and dinner before 8 is basically doing the same thing.

"Oops I stopped eating at 9:11 instead of 8:59, my diet plan is fucked" said no one ever.

It'd be funnier if it was just the parts claimed by the Republic of Texas that didn't end up as part of the state.

No, I assure you everything on this map is indeed part of the USA.