I have no friends or partner, I’ve been very lonely.
When I go out to try to meet people, no one ever comes up to me and starts talking to me. But if I want to meet someone I have to do exactly that. But like, why should I have to be the one to initiate 100% of the time? Shouldn’t it be 50/50? (And I’m not really talking about societal expectations of the man initiating with the woman, I’d rather have a boyfriend anyway.)
I have such a hard time initiating conversations with people, to the point where I mostly just stress out and sit there alone. If someone initiated with me things might go better. But they just don’t.
The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that literally no one has any interest in me.
ways to meet people hobbies/ group activities: hiking, cosplay, drag, pottery, dance classes, martial arts, religious group, mutual aid.
if you have the means/ free college, go to community college, theres cool people of every age and you can just hang out around campus and mingle and no one will ever question you. I used to be on campus from 8 am to 8 pm when i didn't work (home was bad), sometimes i sat next to a chess or game board and just challenged strangers. also there plenty of autistic people on campus who get free classes and they are very cool.
wear nice clothes, its the fastest way to change how people treat you, if youre fashionable people will walk up and complement you often. you dont have to be cute just fashionable. if you dont want to worry about it just dont wear a basic or graphic tee and shorts. dont do it. look a a picture of adam sandler and if you look similar wear anything else and youll be ok. also wearing merch and fandom stuff is a great way to get people to approach you.
lmao my entire wardrobe is t-shirts (mostly non-graphic) and jeans. Plus a few polo shirts. I have no idea what to wear besides that.
my recommendation is to add not subtract then. add a button up over your t shirt and leave it un buttoned it will change the whole look. layers look great and make you look more dressed up.
Get one super cool jacket, that makes you feel badass. add a single gold or silver chain.
watches are a great accessory and make you look more mature.
hair is also important but having a barber/stylist you trust is your best bet, doesn't have to be expensive to get a monthly cut/ line up and if it is you gotta do it at home, unless you want to grow it out.
Consider the sports coat or a car coat. Maybe in a nice tweed, well fitted. With a t shirt youll look a bit Berkeley Start-up founder, but its not a bad thing.
Or for more casual looks any sort of jacket. In any case layering is key. Military surplus is generally great for this, especially ex eastern bloc.
Get a pair of chelsea boots in black or brown. You can wear them for anything from hiking to a job interview.
the best advice hurts just a little
you never want to go full sandler
I've actually found this to be true. Especially if you have nice shoes. I've even had girls compliment them sometimes.