TLDR: What is ADHD medication supposed to feel like? Is it supposed to feel like anything at all? Will someone with ADHD feel really gacked out/high? does it change based on food intake or other factors?
So I received an unofficial diagnosis from my AuDHD psychologist a while ago, and then my psychiatrist did a very short written assessment on me and determined a positive diagnosis. I really want to get a full assessment one day, but for now I was prescribed Focalin (dexmethylphenidate). I originally wanted it as a prn.
The first time I took it, I definitely felt "peppy", needing to stand while gaming, needing to move around more frequently, generally more awake. I didn't eat breakfast, and had coffee. My blood pressure was also very high. Within a couple of days I took it again, but being good and eating in the morning with no coffee. I couldn't even tell if it was working. I may have taken it another time soon after and did not notice a difference, so I stopped taking it. I've been extremely fatigued and my executive dysfunction has been off the charts so I tried taking it again. Yesterday I didn't eat right away, and I felt gacked. Tight jaw, jittery, like definitely felt like I was on stimulants. I felt like that today as well; I tried to eat a little something this morning but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. It kicked in during a client appointment, too. Jaw tight, jittery, making a ton of typing mistakes, my body feeling fuzzy.
So, is it something where you should be able to notice a difference when you take ADHD meds? I'm assuming that I felt it so intensely because I didn't eat, but when I do it it literally doesn't feel like anything has changed. I may also not even have ADHD at all and was misdiagnosed (I was informally dx'ed with ADHD, Autism and bipolar disorder).
Wow, your responses were awesome, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness! Sorry for taking a while to respond, all of the helpful replies were kinda overwhelming and I wanted to just reply to everyone all at once (lol).
I really resonated with your point about how autism and ADHD interact, and how being medicated for ADHD can "exacerbate" autistic traits. I have always attributed my mental health struggles to C-PTSD as I've experienced pretty intense childhood trauma as well as ongoing trauma. I then was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and officially/unofficially diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. In my mid 20's, I think more sensory sensitivities started cropping up. I remember for a few years, I always felt very dirty; my skin just felt dirty, like I could feel all of the oils on my hands and face and it was really distressing. How I talked about it was that it was the opposite of dissociating; that maybe being triggered cause me to be extra-inside my body. Could never figure that one out, therapists were so confused. Then with my bipolar diagnosis, I got medicated, and my mood is more stable (for the most part) but now my stimming, infodumping, sensory issues, distractedness, and extreme social anxiety seem to be more intense. So it all unravels but then becomes more complicated, lol.
Also, I believe that I am in a state of extreme burnout. I explained it a bit in another comment, but my burn outs last for months; I feel like it's been at least a year that I've felt this way. It's not just that at work I'm irritable and curmudgeony, I am just too exhausted to even entertain doing any of the things that make me happy. The thought of riding my bike or hanging with a friend is painful to think about. Also the inertia piece has been increasingly difficult to contend with; I think I noticed it getting bad around 8 years ago and it seems to not be letting up at all.
I think the biggest thing that I hope for with ADHD meds is being able to muster the motivation to do things I enjoy without them feeling like a chore, focus, and keep routines. I hope that, if I do in fact experience ADHD, that something will work because I feel like I can't go on like this