I love the part of your story about the poetry slam. The story works without that context, but the fact you had this conversation at a poetry slam, surrounded by (in my imagination) bad poetry and snapping beatniks really elevated it somehow

I've heard the take of 'not in front of the white people!' And I've got mixed feelings on the idea. You're right though - making fun of a black woman's appearance is really fucked up and didn't get nearly as much attention as the slap.

And who would want a partner who made shitty boomer jokes about them? I've never thought to make fun of my partner's appearance to their face, let alone to others.