I went to a gay nightclub and most of the night I just stood there not talking to anyone (for the third night in a row). But when I was about to leave I managed to compliment a guy’s top. He said thanks then we didn’t really interact anymore.

As I was leaving, I noticed him standing outside, so I went and asked if he was waiting for a ride (to make sure he was alright I guess? I don’t really know why I did it tbh). He said yeah a friend was coming to pick him up.

But then he asked me for my Snapchat or Instagram, I told him I could give my phone number (I don’t have either of those apps) and he handed me his phone to put my number in the messages app and message myself so I get his number. I told him my name and he told me his.

Then I just sort of went back to my car and left. I have no idea what to do next. We didn’t really talk or anything, everything I said above is the entirety of my interactions with him. So we don’t know anything about each other.

So what do I do? Did I walk away too early? What do I text him? Try to get to know him over text? How would I even start that? Or just ask to meet up at a coffee shop or something? How do I not sound desperate? Do I need to wait 3 days or whatever social rule bullshit exists? Did he just exchange numbers to humor me to get me to go away?

I have literally no experience with any of this, but I do have crippling social anxiety.

  • bumblebeehellbringer [fae/faer, they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I would text something like "Hey I'm pretty socially awkward, you seem cool, want to get coffee sometime?" If he doesn't respond then just don't reach out again. If he does respond, then go from there. Some people are cool with socially awkward people and kind. If he uses your social awkwardness to put you down if you do interact with him, then stop hanging out with him.

    • albigu@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      1 year ago

      “Hey I’m pretty socially awkward, you seem cool, want to get coffee sometime?”

      I don't date, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I always sneak a couple of disclaimers like "I'm bad with names/faces/instant messaging apps" during the first couple of conversations with people I just met, and they always react well to that and avoids a lot of early game confusion. And if they react poorly, you have successfully identified an asshole.