tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he's 15 years old and saying "bros before hoes" still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a "rebel" and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn't change anything about himself, and he's stubbornly proud of having "no filter." This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he'll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it's like get the fuck over it. I basically don't share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he'll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with "well" or "actually" which is never helpful. He literally can't admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.
This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can't be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.
Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it's now become apparent he isn't capable of that.
related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he's totally alone. Ive heard him say he's in therapy but i have to wonder if that's true, because it clearly isn't working. I'm annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can't fucking change for anybody at all.
I dumped all of them, we grew up on the same block and hood, and every single one of them grew into chauvinistic narcissistic women beaters and beater apologist. From kids to the age of 26 I was too blinded by excessive alcoholism and cocaine addiction to realize I was being used by them and when I attempted to take my own life at my rock bottom all of them showed me who they truly were. The only thing I regret is not having a time machine to tell my younger self to grow away from them sooner.
Always look at how people treat others because it's a reflection of how they'll treat you
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One of my friends I cut off was an asshole to every bartender and door dash driver before I quit drinking and cut him off
I once when on a date, where the morning after I took her to a diner in my community (I guess it wasn't up to her standards because she walked in with a foul face) and there's a server there that always takes care of me he used to even give me free drinks sometimes. She spoke down to him so rudely for some napkins I took her home and never called again. I tipped him well the next time I saw him it was so embarrassing to be seen with her
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