But even some progressive gay white men say they feel alienated from a movement they see becoming more radical, particularly online, where the tenor of conversation is often uncivil.
Hot take: I'm honestly, vocally sick of settler-gay men who demand that you handle them with kid gloves when their entire existence within the community is an existence blanketed in microaggression at best, when they're not being outright full-on macroaggressive about someone that 'doesn't fit their "preference"'; and I'm genuinely glad people are starting to talk about it.
Oh yeah I 100% agree with this. Tbh I would extend this to damn near the entire LGBT community because I've faced some of the worst discrimination against me for being a sometimes impolite trans woman. There's so many 'queer housing collectives' that are "AFAB only" because clearly trans women don't need anywhere to live. This is a bit of a different issue (since I'm very white) but it personally drives my ass up the wall. The whole 'having to treat people with kid gloves' and microagression galore is something I have so much fucking experience with, and even run into on this site too sometimes 🙄
Uhh sweaty my ex boyfriend was abusive and yelled at me so I have trauma over hearing AMAB voices so speaking while trans in my presence is a misogynistic hate crime. No I'm not transphobic, why do you ask?
Oh my god I almost told you to kill yourself and then I realized what this was responding to and that you were doing a bit. Well done.
Such is the price one must pay for not using tone indicators
I should have guessed from the sweaty but idk maybe I'm delerious from hunger so I missed that lol
*I'm on my way to get food rn
😌
For real, it seems to be an awful idea to be anything less than perfectly polite as a trans woman. I do it sometimes by accident and sometimes deliberately... I haven't experienced anything bad relating to this on here yet, but generally people lose their shit at you so quickly and with such ease.
I find the acceptance of my womanhood is often entirely contingent on my being subservient. I have actually had people hold that over me basically daring me to stand up for myself so they could revoke my womanhood.
oh hey, gender roles
They do hate it when you speak up for yourself, kinda like how misogynistic men in general seemed to hate it when women spoke up for themselves. Hmmm...
Yeah but cis women generally don't immediately start getting treated like a man so it's extra special.
Yeah, it's the perfect example of transmysogyny. Women already suffer from being seen as "difficult and bossy" and "overly emotional and melodramatic" where a man showing the exact same behavior would be viewed as "assertive" and "strong-willed". As a transfem, this gets compounded by our womanhood being doubted and made conditional in the first place.
When ever I communicated with my abusive ex to try and establish boundaries I was basically doing violence against them. I wish I was joking. Everyone else was okay with this because they were a wittle innocent afab flower with more mental illnesses than me.
these "AFAB only" queer spaces are a nightmare for me as a masc-presenting trans woman. all semblance of allyship, even from other transpeople, goes straight out the window. i think the overall pervasiveness of transmisogyny in society makes it so that the TERFy "trans women are nasty men" narrative picks up traction even among other queer people.
This is probably a very specific form of discrimination but I've seen much more hatred towards pan people like myself from gay and lesbian people, even bi people, than from cishet people. That's probably because homophobes don't bother to learn what pansexuality is, but it's very upsetting to me to have seen fellow queer people throw me under the bus because they think I'm 'looking for attention" or whatever.
To me, being pansexual means I'm attracted to people regardless of their gender, and being bisexual means I'm attracted to all genders. It's a small difference to people who aren't bi or pan but to me it's very important. So seeing queer people say that I don't fit in with them just makes me feel awful.