But even some progressive gay white men say they feel alienated from a movement they see becoming more radical, particularly online, where the tenor of conversation is often uncivil.
Hot take: I'm honestly, vocally sick of settler-gay men who demand that you handle them with kid gloves when their entire existence within the community is an existence blanketed in microaggression at best, when they're not being outright full-on macroaggressive about someone that 'doesn't fit their "preference"'; and I'm genuinely glad people are starting to talk about it.
I think it's fair to say that folks who are singled out would feel and perhaps are in some conventions treated unfairly ('speak to the individual' and all that).
If you're willing to have a discussion, if I made a claim like "You likely have deep-seated misconceptions, base beliefs, which would be difficult to change and difficult to engage with. If the hard work is put in to work towards a common understanding, it's true you may not agree, however I believe strongly at present with the information provided like your conduct and statements, you are missing key details or an in-depth understanding and frankly if you were to attain a greater understanding (something we can hopefully agree is always possible, though not always worth the time, or convenient) your beliefs would be more inline with mine than they are now."
That's a non-starter right? That's essentially what I'd like to communicate and, of course anecdotally (and informally through others) the case is such a statement is ignored.
If it's ignored like, 20 times, would you say it is appropriate to begin being unsavoury and less prosocial as other comrades are? Their conduct seems entirely reasonable to me, and has its own uses. Something I won't really dive into because I think it would amount to bashing you and turning you into a strawperson.
What do you think? I'm genuinely curious as to what you might say and I think I can learn something, hopefully you can too, comeade.
Hmm, it is an interesting question. I fully admit I am in the wrong here, reacting as if it is a personal and homophobic attack.
I think our mutual life experiences have lead us to perceive certain behaviors as abusive even when the intent was not there from the other side. From that misunderstanding, mutual anger is born. I am someone that has no queer support network. I am relentlessly punished by my community for not conforming. I am threatened with violence. I perceive someone calling out my identity with the abuse I suffer at the hands of that community.
When someone claims the right to "punch up" I perceive it emotionally as being personally stomped on.
I get irrational, and emotional. I then say stupid things I come to regret. I fully understand that were I rational, I would not perceive this as a serious personal attack.
Thus, I fully agree I am in the wrong. I would only ask for understanding that this is born out of abuse by the society that we as leftists mutually oppose. Resorting to personal attacks seems pointlessly hurtful in this case, because it doesn't serve any purpose besides making both genuinely upset sides more upset.
Well, I would certainly like to validate your experience. I think at times folks can get self-righteous (god knows I do) and in their crusade they can cause hurt to folks who have more in common than not.
It feels like that may be the case, if so it sucks
Power to you comrade, you got folks here who are rooting for ya.