Been trying to unmask for half a year+ now and it's difficult, numbingly depressing, and extremely damaging to my reputation (in places that do matter, not just pointless social status standing)

The end of the tunnel leads to a beautiful forest full of life and light though right?

  • ashinadash [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I was always atrocious at talking, so it hasn't damaged my social standing much. Or maybe I just don't stim that visibly. Or maybe I just never masked much, I couldn't do eye contact, facial expressions, or anything beyond a monotone-ish in person. Or maybe I just don't socialise enough in person, because I rarely go outside & do much of my social stuff online!

    It's hard being your 100% true unfiltered self all the time, but I've found it really rewarding. I find it's a useful filter for weird neurotypicals + socialising with other autistic & neurodiverse people has been great fun! I am lucky though, I live in my own home with just my wife & have no need to go outside beyond work and groceries basically. I speak from a position of (relative) privilege.

    Worthy to note also that I still throw the mask up for talking to cashiers and cabbies and stuff, and when people talk to me at my job it's an active effort not to mask. Unmasking is pretty hard.