K this reminded me of a stupid story. I used to wait tables and i had this regular who would always get the same thing: 6 pickle spears and a bottle of mustard.

Normally pickle spears and mustard's free of course, but she'd use half a bottle every time so we worked out a cost to charge.

Oh! And for dessert, a towering side plate of reddi-whip whipped cream.

I always wanted to ask what was up with that but never did. I wonder how she's doing?