I was bordering suicidal this morning due to some of the dark feelings I felt. Slowly coming away from that now, but still feel like hangovers just destroy me now

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    hexbear
    11
    5 months ago

    in my 20s i could snap back fast, but by mid 30s--even staying hydrated--the day after heavy drinking would be a bust. the day would be blown on napping, eating slop, and accomplishing nothing for myself just to get myself back to neutral. i also smoked tobacco when i drank, and made cutting back harder.

    i quit both before i turned 40 and now i'm approaching like no tobacco for 4 years, and probably a single low-ABV beer in the last 5 years. and i remember distinctly how dehydrated that single beer made me, as a big water drinking guy. It definitely affirmed desire to not feel that way anymore. When I go to social events, I have soda water or like a diet soft drink. I definitely missed it at first, because I'm kinda awkward. But the drinking didn't really fix that so much as make me not notice it. And no amount of awkwardness bothers me more than feeling like crap the next day both physically and from being anxious about something I said/did.

    When i see people my age who still drink like they are 20 years younger, it's clearly hard on their bodies. I see people who are literally the same age as me who i would guess are like 10-15 years older.

    anyway, alcohol is fucked up. seems like one of the kinder things you can do for yourself is to not consume it. and it's one of those things where the body gives reliable feedback, unless you're like a hardcore juicer with tremors and shit.