I've been speaking some time with an obviously ND person. I'm not sure exactly what they struggle with, but it's outwardly noticeable as such (kind of stumbling around, shaking, general social awkwardness, sometimes having outbursts). They also have explicit hearing problems.
We were in a larger group making small talk, and they asked me to repeat what I said, to which I reponded, "oh, nothing important". They responded immediately "isn't it the listener who should decide what's important?" which I accepted and then did repeat what I said.
Their instant response signaled to me either that they often have the same situation where people don't want to bother reprating themselves, and/or that they are much more mentally lucid than I prejudiciallly assumed.
Then I thought, isn't one of the core aspects of social awkwardness that you don't understand the situation you are in? That you can't even hear what people are saying? And then if people don't even bother repeating themselves upon request, wouldn't you feel that people don't value you, thus compounding alienation, anxiety, etc? This is obviously where I am part of the problem.
And all this because I don't like repeating myself, to ND/hearing-impaired people or not. I don't like having to raise my voice. The prospect of not being able to hear things is not something I ever have had to consider.
Anyone else have experiences like this? Know the view from the other side? Am I making sense?
Just as another side to this, I am autistic and sometimes have trouble processing people's speech especially if I'm not, like, expecting them to speak. I often ask people to repeat themselves, sometimes they don't, and that's fine.
I hate repeating myself personally. Usually I'll give it one try, maybe two depending on the circumstance. And then I'm just like "don't worry about it, wasn't that important." If it's like the third time I'm asked to repeat myself in one conversation I'll even be like "nah dude, listen better."
It's one of those things that really isn't as deep as we wanna make it sometimes. Repeating yourself is annoying, and it really isn't only on the listener to decide what is important. Do you really wanna tell the same off-the-cuff joke that wasn't that funny for the fourth time in a row?