People keep telling me I only deal in absolutes, and that it's unhealthy and I should sometimes find the middle-ground between two different positions. (I.e. caring for myself vs others, putting all my energy on a task vs not even bothering)
So what's the procedure to finding a middle-ground so I can apply it to literally everything in my life, as the Autistic Gods demand? \s
In what context is this coming up? Political discussions? Dietary recommendations? In some situations there are actually just correct answers. The solution in that case isn't to diversify your thinking but to develop rhetorical tools to comfort people about being wrong
Usually it's lifestyle choices. I'll never not be stubborn politically, but I recognise that I am often too extreme and rigid in my own life to my own detriment.
One random example would be whether I go to parties or not. I am aware that my tolerance for loud noises is very variable, so sometimes I could actually half-enjoy going. But instead of analysing it on a case-by-case basis I just put out a rule that says "no parties" or "yes parties" as a binary shortcut.
I mean, that seems straightforward. You have learned that some kinds of party don't work for you. There are other kinds of parties. You sound like you would enjoy kickbacks or bbqs or activities based parties. If ragers, frat parties, rock outs, or the like don't do it for that's a preference. You should still occasionally try to try new things to expand your pallet but a preference is a preference. At some point you are wasting your time and theirs
Hopefully I'm not focusing too much on a specific example, but do you feel like if you agreed to go to a party, and later found that you don't enjoy it, you wouldn't be allowed to change your mind, like people wouldn't be understanding if you left, or the person who gave you a ride wouldn't be willing to bring you home? I used to be much more rigid in trying new things especially because i felt like i couldn't make people understand what my issues with those things actually were, so it was simpler and more effective to just shake my head no.