I think I'd apply for the position of guy who's super interested in something that's only interesting cause it's gsmeplay relevant. I'd stand by a river staring at it day and night and when the protagonist talks to me I'd say "I'd bet I could use a boat to cross this river."
That one generic henchman who's lowkey super relateable. After you beat me to get the key to the next floor I'd say "It's a living" before stepping exactly one square to the left. Any time you talk to me afterwards I say something about being on break or taking this up with the union.
Looney Tune/Flinstone henchmen are the best