I just have to get this off my chest but I can't talk about it too anyone who knows me in real life.
About ten years I started a new job an instantly hit off with a co-worker. We had a ton of similar interests and she was super easy for my anti social self to talk too And holy shit the level of pure chemistry we had, I didn't even know that was possible. Only problem was I was married and she was engaged.
Over the next couple years we managed to keep our hands off each other only because one of us anyways had to stay sober enough to drop the other off and we both knew drunk consent isn't consent. We became the kinda friends that know things about each other no other person does. But things never went farther than the rare nude or a hand that would linger too long in passing.
Once I quit that job we both broke off all contact and I haven't talked to her since. I'm married thirteen years now, last I checked she was married with kids. And yet I still can't get her out of my mind. All of my best dreams are about her. I honestly think that if there was one thing I could fix about my life it would be to go back and make it work with her.
This is a really shitty feeling I haven't been able to get over for ten years. Maybe getting it out there will help and this ain't the kind of shit I could tell anyone in real life.
If you haven't talked to them for ten years, then you do not have crush on them. You have a crush on an idealized person that existed a decade ago.
Anyway I get the feeling, it sucks and it's hard. Focus on the joy you and your wife bring each other.
This. Sure, you had chemistry, but you didn't even have a romantic relationship then. Take care of your wife. Fall back in love with her. Speaking from experience, comrade.
That was one of my favorite posts of all time.
I'm sure this is true. I'm certainly not the person I was then. Unfortunately facts and logictm don't seam to be a big help.
Yeah sorry, best I can do for you. Coming to that realisation is what helped me move on.