"The democrats don't like me. They don't like Trump! I get no respect. None! Unfair! So - here's a story. Lotsa people don't know this but it was me - Trump - who gave Jacob Cohen his name. He went to the Catskill Mountains. Lots of clubs in the Catskills. But he only played one. One! And it was so far out - his act was only reviewed in Field & Stream."

"So I said 'Jacob, you have a great act (Great!) but Jacob Cohen is very Hollywood so too Hollywood. Hollywood is good. Very good. But too Hollywood is very bad. Names are important.' And they are! He was a smart man. So he listened to me. Trump sounds like money - money-money-money-money. Names are important. I gave him a name I used once. As a phony name for a blind date. Great date. And later too."

"The girl was gorgeous. Big hips. And she had real big... but that's a different story. This story is this story. I said - 'Your name is Rodney Dangerfield.' "