Thanks comrade. What you described about needing to feel wanted sounds very familiar. I guess I've been distracting myself from the reality of the situation, numbing and I guess just kinda rationalising things as a side effect of temporary conditions or other surmountable things we would face together eventually and be stronger for.

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation with your girlfriend's birth control. That must have been an absolute mindfuck for both of you.

In my case things have sort of ended up where they are through a gradual process and we've continued to be generally very good for each other. The way things are have been a fairly consistent state of affairs for a while, I just kind of expected we would somehow find each other again, in that way.

The conversation with her today feels like a reality check against that. I don't even know what I "want" in terms of something else. I haven't felt the need to wonder about it. I just know this feels incomplete.

Fuck. I appreciate you sharing your story. It's definitely food for thought.