I think a deeper, core issue is being ignored. Why did he feel the need to lie to your partner about what he was doing? Why was he unable or unwilling to tell her that he's just having a beer? Is the issue that she would unfairly demand he not do this? Or is there some legitimate reason she might object? Either of these is indicative of a need to communicate about an issue.
In a healthy relationship, you should not only feel free to do what you want, you should also feel comfortable communicating these things with your partner. If you want to do something that would make your partner flip out, either there's something wrong with your desire or your partner's reaction and you need to talk about it.
Everything you said makes sense, but at the same time you can acknowledge that you need to communicate better without having the conversation right then and there. Both times the dude "transgressed" he was coming home from work. Probably tired, maybe had a bad day, I can see why he didn't want to negotiate beer or McDonalds with his wife right then and there.
Especially understandable is the beer. She admits that they had been having difficulties at home and maybe just needed some time alone to think. She knew where he was and texted him anyway.
Personally, I would've already had that conversation pretty much as soon as I saw the problem, before even getting to the point where you're stopping off at McDonald's or the bar. It's pretty unlikely that the first time it occurs to you that your partner would be mad is when you're opening the door to the McDonald's.
I think a deeper, core issue is being ignored. Why did he feel the need to lie to your partner about what he was doing? Why was he unable or unwilling to tell her that he's just having a beer? Is the issue that she would unfairly demand he not do this? Or is there some legitimate reason she might object? Either of these is indicative of a need to communicate about an issue.
In a healthy relationship, you should not only feel free to do what you want, you should also feel comfortable communicating these things with your partner. If you want to do something that would make your partner flip out, either there's something wrong with your desire or your partner's reaction and you need to talk about it.
Everything you said makes sense, but at the same time you can acknowledge that you need to communicate better without having the conversation right then and there. Both times the dude "transgressed" he was coming home from work. Probably tired, maybe had a bad day, I can see why he didn't want to negotiate beer or McDonalds with his wife right then and there.
Especially understandable is the beer. She admits that they had been having difficulties at home and maybe just needed some time alone to think. She knew where he was and texted him anyway.
Personally, I would've already had that conversation pretty much as soon as I saw the problem, before even getting to the point where you're stopping off at McDonald's or the bar. It's pretty unlikely that the first time it occurs to you that your partner would be mad is when you're opening the door to the McDonald's.
Communicate early, communicate often.