I also plan on going over this in my next therapy session along with me possibly having pathological demand avoidance and executive dysfunction, but wanted some spicy(and real) takes from other terminally online ND commies that are forced to go outside occasionally.

So, I'm atheist/nihilist/it's complicated but I go to church with my Christian wife and my kids on Sundays and sometimes Wednesday evenings. It's fine, whatever. I've actually made a few friends there and some of them are aware that I am bleak-brained about religion.

Some of them who know me more personally even will ask if they can hug me or whatever. It's fine if I know it's coming and it's with someone I know and can prepare for.

But like 99.9% of the rest of those people and the rest of humanity can fuck the fuck right off. Why do randos feel obligated to touch other people?

In that church, we are part of a "small group" and the last one we joined, a dude there who I never met, just came up and hugged me. Did that the next few times too before I was able to shut the hug down a handshake compromise. I didn't wanna be mean about it and figured a handshake was bearable. I'm used to them from the stupid fucking formalities that come with job interviews. Sure, fuck it.

But then the old fart that holds the door open like Jesus would have wanted... whey does he feel obligated to give me a back pat? Don't fucking touch me maybe?

This last Sunday they had new Elders selected(I don't get it either. Spend 2 months asking how they can select more inclusive Elders and still pick 4 old white dudes) but I was walking passed one and he felt the holy spirit in him to gently pinch the bottom part of my bicep in some weird fucking "coochie coochie coo" display. Like what possessed him to do that? Never talked to him outside the casual stupid fucking small talk. Dear dude with the bizzaro tickle fetish, could you fucking not?

I spent all my life suffering from anticipatory anxiety of people touching me in all these dumb fucking rituals of hand shakes and shoulder clasping and I would dearly like them to fucking stop.

So, how do I actually do it? I am extremely blunt and have a short temper and feel like if I don't get this sorted I'm gonna blow the fuck up at the next person who touches me without my permission.

Tips, tricks, bear strength pepper spray?

  • Zvyozdochka [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    If you find out, please do tell me. I'm tired of getting guilt tripped for "oh, don't you love me? give me a hug!". I've never understood why people just can't accept that some people don't like being touched and they take it personally.

    • roux [he/him, comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 months ago

      This is the reason why we are both strongly supportive of our kids' autonomy regarding hugs from family. Our rule is that our kids don't have to hug you if they don't want to.