We're like to extend our most sincere apologies for today's downtime, explain the issue, and talk about what we'll be doing going forward.

Late last night or early this morning, an owl entered the server room and, unsurprisingly, pissed on everything. We had to drag them out of a corner where they'd started building a nest out of CAT5 cables. After checking with all our keyholders, we determined that they had not tricked someone into lending them the keys this time, and nobody had left a window open. We have not found their entry point yet, but we suspect we are getting closer (we've found a large pile of shit near one of the vents).
We managed to dry one server off and get the website running again, but unfortunately we only have 1 hair dryer and will need a few more days to dry the rest of the servers and get the site fully operational.

Going forward, our plan is:

  • Cover outside AC vents and similar in chicken wire
  • assess and reinforce weak points in the building's structure
  • tape old CDs to the building to reflect the sun and scare them away
  • attack roosting spikes to the server racks
  • stop keeping open, uncovered cans of beans at our desks

We are also looking into hiring a falconer as a more active deterrent.

Thank you for your patience in such a difficult time.

  • goog [any]
    ·
    7 months ago

    can you get a load of this poster"goog" (perhaps a google infiltrator???!)? they don't think that fart fetish joke #891 made by one guy who cries all the time is the height of comedy??? GET EM BOYS!!!!

    • CyborgMarx [any, any]
      ·
      7 months ago

      lmao talk about a fuckin crybaby jesus christ, whining ass redditor go stare at the sun and give yourself a real problem

      • goog [any]
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        I'm unlikely to ever have a real problem again. Enjoy your kids getting run over, infected, and shot in Burgerstan, if you manage to remain fertile.