I'm an orbiter of a party.

I am actually pretty tight with the leadership for someone who isn't a formal member.

I take things too seriously and I'm extremely limited in my capacity so I haven't joined as a member in part because I know that I wouldn't be able to meet the obligations of a party member and that would wear me down like fuck and I cannot afford to risk doing that plus my priority is my health at the moment due to extremely pervasive burnout.

I contribute financially. I provide back-end support to the party, particularly with regards to digitisation of works and the development of procedures for the community outreach/mutual aid arm of the org because that's squarely within my skillset and it's definitely an important niche that needs to be filled. I wish I could fill it better but I wish a lot of things would be different to how they are, I guess.

I never feel like I fit in anywhere tbh, the party included. I think that outsider perspective is useful with regards to development of procedure. I think I'm accepted and that my contributions are valued though.