Hey, I feel like I'm in the same boat as you, but because of my ADHD, undiagnosed autism, and severe, severe depression that I often forget to factor into assessments of my life. I am pretty miserable myself and have a very difficult time making friends because I'm chronically stressed, far away from opportunities to socialize, and short on prospects. So you're not alone in this. Another thing I've learned is that further harming myself with feeling ashamed of all of this shit just makes no goddamn sense and I've been working very hard on being kinder to myself, and forgive my mistakes, and stop allowing despair to overtake me.

And you absolutely can be loved and love others, you've just got more barriers to it. But it's not a death sentence for your soul. I promise you you can find friends and that your life can improve. I've enjoyed your posts and get a powerful vibe of wholesomeness and compassion from you. I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. You deserve better. We all do.