bit of a warning but this is a very sad, pathetic and hopeless post. If you're easily made sad you might wanna sit this one out.
avpd is my own personal hell. Its destroying/destroyed my life. I have 2 "friends" I hardly talk to. Dropped out of college. No real prospects. I was born privileged and have just wasted it. I'm a failure. A husk of a person. I've never been on a single date. I'm just sitting here spinning my wheels. And the wheels aren't really spinning anymore. I'm so desperately lonely, but I just... can't. I don't even know how I'd meet people, if I could step out. I'm so lonely, and sad and FUCK being a social creature. What a cruel joke. A social creature that has a fucking personality disorder so they avoid socializing. WHAT THE FUCK. And this shit's permanent. Its who I am. Sure I can "cope" better but I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING COPE I WANT TO BE NORMAL WTF. I WANT TO BE LOVED AND LOVE PEOPLE AND I JUST CAN'T. ITS TOO DAMN HARD.
suicide
I just wish I could die. I can't take this. I'm such a waste. Being alive is too painful as an anti social, social being.
Progress is so slow! It feels like I'm getting worse sometimes.
It didn't feel that way at all to me, I really appreciate it.