I am currently going through a lot of gender questioning, and I want to know how you all discovered your gender identities, or if you are still questioning yourself. I think that I am probably not cis, but as we all know, gender isn't black and white. I'm identifying as non-binary right now, but I have had a lot of times throughout my life, including now, where I may have wanted to be more feminine, or even a woman. Especially after lurking on this site and looking at the trans megathreads, I find myself relating to a lot of what is being said. Overall, I recently feel like I have either hit a wall or just opened up a part of myself that I thought I had already solved, so I think that the experiences of others might help me figure myself out.
P.S. I don't know if this is the appropriate comm, it made a little more sense than the trans comm, since it said it was more of a meme comm, and this is not a meme. Mods, please take it down if it's the wrong comm; I'll repost if I need to.
strangely, a few days after receiving the COVID vaccine….
but seriously, i never really thought of gender at all until about 12-13, when those around you start really pushing it. of course cis people are always pushing gender from a young age, but i feel like they really ramp it up when you’re around that age where you start puberty. as i was forced more and more into the social role of a man, i realized that i deep down hated it and there just felt like an incongruence between me on the inside and who i am expected to be. only a few years later did i realize this was actually gender dysphoria. i came out as trans years later but only really just used a different name and pronouns and didn’t really know what exactly i wanted to do with my transition. i existed in trans spaces, had trans friends, the whole deal, but i never really changed anything about myself. it was only up until january of this year did i decide that i want to really live as a woman, whatever that means. for the last few months i’ve been on estrogen, i dress as femininely as i can, i wear makeup pretty regularly, i do my best to just be perceived as a woman. i am very clocky and never get gendered correctly, but at least i like how i present and doing the whole feminine gender performance has been giving me tons of euphoria thus far.
This is kind of how I felt, thinking back, but it is/was hard to determine whether it was neurodivergence or gender. Starting to think it could be both.