strangely, a few days after receiving the COVID vaccine….
but seriously, i never really thought of gender at all until about 12-13, when those around you start really pushing it. of course cis people are always pushing gender from a young age, but i feel like they really ramp it up when you’re around that age where you start puberty. as i was forced more and more into the social role of a man, i realized that i deep down hated it and there just felt like an incongruence between me on the inside and who i am expected to be. only a few years later did i realize this was actually gender dysphoria. i came out as trans years later but only really just used a different name and pronouns and didn’t really know what exactly i wanted to do with my transition. i existed in trans spaces, had trans friends, the whole deal, but i never really changed anything about myself. it was only up until january of this year did i decide that i want to really live as a woman, whatever that means. for the last few months i’ve been on estrogen, i dress as femininely as i can, i wear makeup pretty regularly, i do my best to just be perceived as a woman. i am very clocky and never get gendered correctly, but at least i like how i present and doing the whole feminine gender performance has been giving me tons of euphoria thus far.
strangely, a few days after receiving the COVID vaccine….
but seriously, i never really thought of gender at all until about 12-13, when those around you start really pushing it. of course cis people are always pushing gender from a young age, but i feel like they really ramp it up when you’re around that age where you start puberty. as i was forced more and more into the social role of a man, i realized that i deep down hated it and there just felt like an incongruence between me on the inside and who i am expected to be. only a few years later did i realize this was actually gender dysphoria. i came out as trans years later but only really just used a different name and pronouns and didn’t really know what exactly i wanted to do with my transition. i existed in trans spaces, had trans friends, the whole deal, but i never really changed anything about myself. it was only up until january of this year did i decide that i want to really live as a woman, whatever that means. for the last few months i’ve been on estrogen, i dress as femininely as i can, i wear makeup pretty regularly, i do my best to just be perceived as a woman. i am very clocky and never get gendered correctly, but at least i like how i present and doing the whole feminine gender performance has been giving me tons of euphoria thus far.
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