how tf do i call out of work. i never do this shit and i'm always terrified of doing it. i hate my job and would much rather do the thing with my friends tomorrow but i'm a terrible liar and have a deep seated need to be seen as doing good, even by my fucking b*ss. does anyone have any tips for how to do it?
You are doing good, you're talking care of a very important person, yourself! Your boss doesn't have that interest in mind, so you're going over his head to your top boss - again, yourself.
Don't forget, no pics on social media.
And go with the doodoo ass excuse, bonus points for calling while dropping the kids off at the pool. Eat a lot of the day before so you can get some sound effects going.