…because of the thing with the money. And then losing my wallet, and then one of my plushie friends. It’s only going to get worse. I really hope I die before it does.

And in a bit over a week from now it’ll be the 1 year anniversary of the last time I saw my friend, the one who won’t talk to me anymore. One down, the rest of my lifetime to go. I know I’ll never see them again and while I think I’m over the cringey weird shit, I still think about them pretty much every day and it hurts so fucking much.

You know I’ll never get a car or a minivan or whatever. Definitely not before this winter—it gets harder to cope with every fucking year.

Fuck.

  • TemutheeChallahmet [none/use name]
    ·
    10 days ago

    You are already on your way to a better life just by virtue of you having written all your existing problems out. Now flesh them out more deeply:

    1. What do you need to get that went missing along with your wallet?
    2. What do you want to say to your friend right now?
    3. What is the least amount of money you will need for a car or minivan you want?
    • allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]
      ·
      9 days ago
      1. The wallet is actually not a huge deal, just kind of annoying. I’m far more sad about Blueberry. I’m going to try to lie to myself and believe he’s OK. I only need to replace my CashApp, Venmo, and BottleDrop cards, which I already have to do basically every couple of months. I have the first two on Apple Pay so nbd.
      2. I don’t know. I don’t even know if they’d read my message.
      3. For something that isn’t a shit box, $1,500-2K at least, unless I can find someone kind enough to give me a deal—friend of mine got his pretty good condition Honda Odyssey for $700, which was all funded through a GoFundMe.
      • TemutheeChallahmet [none/use name]
        ·
        8 days ago
        1. Great, so the first issue is already in the process of being fixed, and you can maybe subtract it from the cloud hanging over you!
        2. You cannot control what your friend does, but you can begin putting into words what message you'd send them. Even if they never see your message, your healing demands that you write it out, even as a personal note.
        3. I think that is very achievable, if you pinpoint few cars first and save them in an online bookmarks folders, then divide the rough cost over the number of days you would like to obtain the car by. Perhaps you can do a combo of GoFundMe and odd work here and there (including filling out surveys, etc.). I will help share your GoFundMe if you make it.