Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
I tried doing what I was "supposed" (expected?) to do for a while. By age 23 it was clearly not working out, everything seemed to be falling apart in my life and even if it wasn't, it didn't have the promise of going anywhere.
Finding people doing actual organizing in controversion of capitalism and empire made a switch in my life. And while I'll never have a "regular" professional career or suburban lifestyle, life is much more rewarding and true to myself than it ever was before.