In the 80's a guy can be from California and be named "Joe Higarashi" even though he's a white guy who hangs out in the gym all day but he also knows Ninjitsu and fights the local gangs at night.
In 2024 a guy is named Brayden Boden and streams Call Of Duty while being sad he doesn't have a girlfriend.
What the hell happened?
Nintendos got too gosh darn fancy, I tell you what
See back in the day guys were happy with just getting the ending of Metroid so they had time to go to the gym and fight goons down by the dock. Now men today be on they phone and texting and thinking about girls so they have no time and crime is at an all time high.
It's so true, fellas today don't even shoot the flammable barrels, blasting henchmen in all directions. Like, c'mon men!
I want my future boyfriend to throw barrels at italian plumbers