started typing something in more detail, but i'll keep it simple and say that i feel where you're at, i ended my partnership of almost 9 years about a year ago and while its been a tough year in many ways, it was the right choice. you should always listen to that inner voice about these things, it leads to either ending a relationship that isn't meant to be anymore (which is in everyone's benefit long-term, even if it doesn't feel that way), or having a frank-but-difficult discussion that leads to mending the parts of your relationship that aren't working (though in this case it sounds like your mind is already pretty made up). best of luck to both of you at this deeply painful crossroads, i hope you both come out on the other side better for it.