Im mostly just typing this out for myself, but I'll gladly read any replies. No promises I'll respond but I'll at least see it cause im fucking constantly online.

Am I depressed? Yes. I work 70 hours a week, and my gas is still gonna get shut off since i don't get paid in time to meet the minimum. I cancelled a date tonight because the idea of having to have 1 on 1 time, even with guaranteed sex, fills me with anxiety and get my heart racing in a bad way. I don't even feel like touching my partner anymore. It feels too much like an expectation to me, something I just kinda do to make them happy. I used to have a high drive, but it seems to have just disappeared over the last few months like a switch was flipped. No change in my brain meds (Lexapro and lamotrigine), hopefully seeing my psych next week.

I have no desire to do anything these days, and everything seems like way more of a chore than it should. By "these days" I mean as far back as my ADHD ass brain can clearly remember. So less than a year but more than 6 months.

I don't know what else to say here so I'm gonna end the post. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, don't forget to like and subscribe.

  • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]
    hexagon
    ·
    3 months ago

    Thanks for the thoughts. Since I work my own hours at home, it already feels like I do nothing, if that makes sense? I'll consider planning a day off when I make the money I need to to catch up on bills :)

    • keepcarrot [she/her]
      ·
      3 months ago

      I've found it takes more than a weekend to turn off "work mode" :( Been sick and unable to work the last week and I'm wondering how much I want to get sick randomly to take longer breaks :/

      Evenings after work and Saturday, I'm in a low functioning daze.