Im mostly just typing this out for myself, but I'll gladly read any replies. No promises I'll respond but I'll at least see it cause im fucking constantly online.
Am I depressed? Yes. I work 70 hours a week, and my gas is still gonna get shut off since i don't get paid in time to meet the minimum. I cancelled a date tonight because the idea of having to have 1 on 1 time, even with guaranteed sex, fills me with anxiety and get my heart racing in a bad way. I don't even feel like touching my partner anymore. It feels too much like an expectation to me, something I just kinda do to make them happy. I used to have a high drive, but it seems to have just disappeared over the last few months like a switch was flipped. No change in my brain meds (Lexapro and lamotrigine), hopefully seeing my psych next week.
I have no desire to do anything these days, and everything seems like way more of a chore than it should. By "these days" I mean as far back as my ADHD ass brain can clearly remember. So less than a year but more than 6 months.
I don't know what else to say here so I'm gonna end the post. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, don't forget to like and subscribe.
dawg if you had the energy and interest to get sexy after working 70 hours you'd be a rare bird, that shit drains people. This isn't on you, this is surely on the pressures and effort of 70 miserable hours of labor every week.
Fair, but this has been going on longer than I've been doing this work schedule (been doing this about a month, issues have been going on for longer)
in that case I believe you may be in the depression club
I have a seat for you over here and we'll be having tea and sandwiches in a few minutes
Love, you aren't broken. The world is broken. You're doing your best to survive in it, and nobody here will fault you for going into survival mode.
It's probably depression I am right there with you. I can't even tell when girls are flirting with me when they spell it out for me.
Haha, know that. Always been that way unless it's fucking blatant.
You really need a proper rest, which a date would chew up. :/ Like a week of no work, low drugs (I don't count drunk days as rest days personally... they do something but recovery ain't it) (keep taking your meds tho), and low commitments. But that may not be feasible. Your mind is pushing away things that may interrupt sleep and loafing around.
this comment hitting me in the "no vacations in my adult life and no paid off days other than federal holidays for the past decade" extremely hard
I know some people that spend all their time working, and if they take a break they spend all their time stressing about "maximising" their free time with travelling or events.
I do feel like giving yourself a week and seeing what feels easy and natural to do without a schedule is a good experiment. If you're missing gas payments though...
I typed up a thing about this subject to reply to you, specifically about living without any vacation time for many years... and then just deleted it because it's too depressing
edit: this is embarrassing, I should have said "death to america" what a silly mistake
In that my work will give me as much unpaid vacation as I ask for but I have to pay rent camp
Me. I can take a 3 day weekend every once in a while but any decent time off would be devastating. A one bedroom is $1750
Thanks for the thoughts. Since I work my own hours at home, it already feels like I do nothing, if that makes sense? I'll consider planning a day off when I make the money I need to to catch up on bills :)
I've found it takes more than a weekend to turn off "work mode" :( Been sick and unable to work the last week and I'm wondering how much I want to get sick randomly to take longer breaks :/
Evenings after work and Saturday, I'm in a low functioning daze.
Dude, you are one of the most love-filled people on this site. Everyone here thinks you're great. That said, anxiety is hard to crack through I know because I get it myself.Seeing a psych is a good idea, as it does sound like depression which can fuck with the things you mentioned. But my advice for what it's worth is that there is nothing wrong with not being sexual all the time. Try to go with the flow and not think too much about what people think of you (easier said than done, I know). You are cool, you are nice, so leave the expectations behind because you are enough and your date probably agrees, otherwise they wouldn't be dating you!
Best of luck, I know you'll get through this.
I have no desire to do anything these days, and everything seems like way more of a chore than it should. By "these days" I mean as far back as my ADHD ass brain can clearly remember. So less than a year but more than 6 months.
This suggests that you’re depressed and/or exhausted. You’d get a more accurate assessment if you somehow reach a non-depressed and/or more free time baseline to see whether you still want to have sex and just exhausted and depressed, or something else.
It seems like a good thing to be open about with your partner (with the explanation that it's probably from work and stress driving you into the ground). You leave it ambiguous, but it might be nice to see them without worrying about the expectations you mention or making a "date" out of it (idk if that factors in for you, it would for me at least).
Thanks comrade. Date was with another person outside my partner (poly type thing going on here). They seem really cool and I'd like to meet them at some point, but today would have been our first hang and i just can't/couldn't bring myself to do anything
Depression seems the likely explanation to me. Might need a med adjustment?
Might also need to not work 70 hours (easier said than done, death to America).
Yes, but offering a solution that's functionally impossible to achieve in the short term doesn't help a whole lot.
Besides which, depression doesn't just go away because you don't have a job.
Been on my Lexapro dose for a few years now, I've heard SSRIs can stop working.
My partner and I are both Acespec. I'll be 100% real with you, you sound burnt out or depresso. Not saying that being ace can't be a factor but from your opening paragraph it sounds like burnout. I hope you can feel better soon <3
70 hours a week
And you wonder why your sex drive is low. Overwork will mess with you like that. Not saying you aren't ace, but your body probably wants some rest before it can go fuck.
If not depression, definitely burnout. Maybe a bit of both.
It sounds like you're past the "fuck this I don't want to do it" stage and now you are at the "I don't even care anymore" stage. I think stress and stuff are fucking with you, which could be causing your depressive symptoms. It's normal to lose libido during high stress times. It's also normal to lose libido when you are overworked and overwhelmed. Combine the two? Or even more factors? Pretty normal to have a low drive.
As a high schooler I thought I was ace and even told people I was because I had so little interest and didn't remember ever having any.
It was 100% depression. If a teenage boy can have that complete loss in interest from depression I think it could happen to anyone. Hope everything gets better for you, you deserve better then this shitty system.
