Don't want to think, more used to using Windows -> Linux Mint (Cinnamon edition)
Don't want to think, more used to using Mac -> Ubuntu
Picky, have a weekend to kill -> Look through the screenshots for Ubuntu, Kubuntu, Xubuntu, and all the Linux Mint variations. Download all the ones that look nice, and try them out on a live USB. Spend some time to fiddle with the file browser, web browser, and software center. Install your favorite.
Willing to tinker with stuff to fit your exact crotchety old fart preferences, so long as you rarely have to do anything to maintain it -> Look through the desktop environments (Gnome, MATE, Cinnamon, KDE, etc etc), choose your favorite, and look up how to install it on either Debian or Fedora.
Would enjoy ongoing tinkering and maintenance as a hobby to get it just right for you -> Arch
Don't want to think, more used to using Windows -> Linux Mint (Cinnamon edition)
Don't want to think, more used to using Mac -> Ubuntu
Picky, have a weekend to kill -> Look through the screenshots for Ubuntu, Kubuntu, Xubuntu, and all the Linux Mint variations. Download all the ones that look nice, and try them out on a live USB. Spend some time to fiddle with the file browser, web browser, and software center. Install your favorite.
Willing to tinker with stuff to fit your exact crotchety old fart preferences, so long as you rarely have to do anything to maintain it -> Look through the desktop environments (Gnome, MATE, Cinnamon, KDE, etc etc), choose your favorite, and look up how to install it on either Debian or Fedora.
Would enjoy ongoing tinkering and maintenance as a hobby to get it just right for you -> Arch