Don't worry, I'm back on my anti-psychotic. I already feel much more balanced, albeit without as much energy. I went to therapy today and just told my therapist everything. Gotta say, she's a really good therapist. She had me fully think out why I don't like taking my ant-psychotic.

I've always struggled with understanding my feelings as someone on the spectrum. Schizoaffective makes this extra complicated, with lots of strong emotions but also mostly flat affect. Anti-psychotics dampen the emotions to the point it feels like I can't recognize them, because it seems like I can only recognize my emotions when they're extreme and overwhelming. She explained this to me by pointing out that I'm barely in touch with my physical needs like being hungry or needing to use the bathrom, so emotions So we're going to work on learning how to know how I'm feeling without being in the extremes. I think this will make it easier to stay on the meds from now on. Thank you all for the support last night, it really means a lot