I just realised that "like it's your first time" has a positive connotation I guess, but like... motherfucker? Do most people have non-awful first-time experiences of sex? Between garbage sex ed and cisheteronormativity I just can't imagine. I doubt it was even momentous for most people tbh? Idk.
Damn my first was almost my friend's mum. Now that would have been funny.