Not for a lack of trying, I assure you. It's just that no matter how hard I try, my mind won't accept it.
The thought of life and existence being ultimately meaningless (Something else my mind fights against, despite knowing it's true) is too much of a blow to my psyche to overcome and look at light-heartedly.
I'm just so desperate to have a purpose and meaning in my life, but at the same time I can't sincerely believe in any religion or afterlife. I try to "live in the moment" and "be happy and make others happy", but it just isn't enough. I need something more.
Edit: Thank you everyone for their responses so far, I do read them all. They give me something to ponder and think about, maybe even leading to a solution.
DONT READ THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA. Discodianism is some ancap shit, I know I did it. You can skip that step,
The heck about discordianism is ancap? I can offer plenty of complaints about it but I just don't see that one.
I'm conflating the whole thing with Robert Anton Wilson cause he did kinda become Rhe Guy for it, and have you read his stuff?
Never heard of him.
The Principia Discordia is enough discordianism for any (un)reasonable person, I didn't go looking for more.
You probably should. It's cringe at beat and proto Elon at worst
Why would I go out of my way to read something cringe?
So you won't be ignorant about what you're promoting?
This is what you're advocating
https://discordia.fandom.com/wiki/Operation_Mindfuck
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I didn't, but everyone who followed it did. Discordians mostly read the Principia cause they read illiminatus and that the Joe Rogan experience of the 70s in novel form. Christians generally haven't been great at following Christ either. At this point it's wooks, crypto fascists, Jreg guys, people that take credit for Q Annon and stir that pot cause Operation Mindfuck. Weird idiots are really really into this stuff now
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Got into it as a late teen who was living with Gen x hippies and yeah, it seems cool but it's gotta be one of the worst crowds out there.