Not for a lack of trying, I assure you. It's just that no matter how hard I try, my mind won't accept it.

The thought of life and existence being ultimately meaningless (Something else my mind fights against, despite knowing it's true) is too much of a blow to my psyche to overcome and look at light-heartedly.

I'm just so desperate to have a purpose and meaning in my life, but at the same time I can't sincerely believe in any religion or afterlife. I try to "live in the moment" and "be happy and make others happy", but it just isn't enough. I need something more.

Edit: Thank you everyone for their responses so far, I do read them all. They give me something to ponder and think about, maybe even leading to a solution.

  • SubstantialNothingness [comrade/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    It's true, life is meaningless.

    But at the same time, life is not meaningless.

    There is no inherent, unchangeable meaning. No universal purpose for us to be here.

    And yet we still strive to have meaning. It is not real, but its absence leaves a real void.

    So meaning is real even in its absence. It's real precisely because of its absence. It is up to us to fill that vacuum - or not. Meaning only takes the form that we give it.

    Regarding nihilism and absurdism:

    • Nihilism is an observation of emptiness.
    • Existentialism is the proposition that emptiness provides space for creation.
    • Absurdism is the recognition that the universe ultimately makes all of our efforts meaningless.

    Nihilism creates stress out of the problem of our existence. Existentialism creates anxiety from the pursuit of a solution. Absurdism comforts us when the anxiety gets too great by reminding us that we don't have to be perfect, there's no such thing, we just have to live in a way that is honest to ourselves.

    Finally, on making others happy: It is also important for you to be happy. And while meaning can be a part of that, so are health and leisure. I find that I have an easier time engaging with meaning when I am feeling somewhat lifted above the daily doldrums, which then allows me to further elevate my spirits.