As a man trying to get laid with women, I’m constantly having to play games and lean into patriarchal convention because that is really the only way to be half way successful.

The song and dance is mind numbingly stupid but you have to do it if you want to get your pp touched. Nuke cishet dating from orbit, I need a director’s cut, a rerelease. I’m convinced no one actually likes this.

  • RiotDoll [she/her, she/her]
    ·
    23 days ago

    i went on two dates as an egg that went anywhere, and the second one only went well at all because the woman I was on the date with was able to pick up that I wasn't gonna be performing the normal song and dance so she just did her part to me lmfao

    i mean she liked me, and i kind of regret not taking that relationship further (i was a disaster on legs back then and it felt wrong to let her catch feelings with someone who fundamentally wouldn't be able to meet the basic needs of a relationship)

    whereas in queer circles people are either very direct - a trans man friend of my partner's once stopped her my partner mid sentence to call me beautiful and immediately proposition me, and a lesbian cis woman just leaned in and started making out with me after talking a bunch of nerd shit at her.

    OR they are like, genuinely deep people who spend time earnestly seeking your company, and generally (some sapphic situations aside) there is no unspoken yearning, no unrequieted love, you know where you stand and people don't make it lonely or miserable to be shot down. Usually. That's been my experience.

    I know cishet folks have things to worry about that I don't - but the ritualized experience of cishet dating was excruciating to me. Y'all can just be direct, playful, and respectful you know? It'll lead to way more fun for everyone invovled...