Timing the start of something is not a simple process. Punishing people for being late disproportionately impacts poor and disabled people. Not all of us can drive a car or even have a car to drive. We might have to wait on other people, or use public transportation, and the more steps we add to the process the more likely something is to go wrong. Punishing people for being late is systematic oppression towards these groups. This punishment can include starting without people, especially if that itself is framed as a punishment.
“Let the late ones be late and miss out (they can read the minutes), and reward the prompt ones by not wasting their time”
From the rusty's rules of order, something the IWW uses to organize. They are ableist.
On the other hand, waiting too long to start can impact people with limited time or energy. Not everyone can stay awake an extra hour just to wait for something to start.
This means that there is not one singular solution for how to start things (although obviously don’t do punishment). In small groups the best solution is to talk things over with everyone and get an idea for what everyone wants to happen, what can go wrong, and plans to mitigate any potential issues. If public transportation is running late, maybe someone with a car can go pick you up.
For large groups, most things do not need a strict starting time. If it is a large group and it requires strict attendance then you brought hierarchy into it long ago and ableism and such was always the conclusion you were going to get anyways.
vent: i've dealt with severe untreated ADHD (with time blindness as symptom) for years, and while i'm overall much better at punctuality now, it took a couple years of therapy, lifestyle changes, and systems (and more recently meds). i've long been well aware this is something i struggle with that 'normal' people with an infinitely less chaotic brain simply see as "not caring enough" or "not trying hard enough." same way i was told growing up, "if it was important to you, you would've remembered." that's true for them; they only know how their own brains work, they don't got a clue what it's like to be flat out incapable of prioritizing their thoughts
i was late often in elementary, like half of middle school, and most mornings of high school. i was never carefree about it; i had racing anxiety from it every time and somehow still constantly did it to myself. my first year at uni i skipped a fuck ton of lectures, even after walking all the way there, solely because i was too embarrassed to walk in late for the 20th time. i isolated myself and rejected invitations largely because i was afraid i'd make people feel i didn't value their time
ADHD isn't just some quirky personality thing most NTs think it is. ADHD made me skip meals nearly daily because i either forgot to eat or i'd put off cooking because it was just another painful chore. ADHD made me get 0-5 hours of sleep on a regular basis because my brain would not quiet down until i collapsed
tbh i often wish i could see a neurotypical live with my brain chemistry for a day, i bet they'd have a breakdown alone from the 2-3 inner monologues and nonstop earworm all on top of each other at every waking moment lmao