For me, vulnerable discourse is a delicate dance and I frankly won't do it if there are too many unknowns on my end. I don't share what i perceive as a potential weapon to be thrust back at me unless I trust the person or people, or am in a position to take the blow (and answer it to "win" i.e. kill the angle of attack)

grew up being really good at debate. I know how to get most people to out their intentions, and how to get earnest people to stop and listen. Nothing works on everybody, and it's tiresome, so I mostly withdraw socially except from spaces I have some control of presentation over. I guess it's kinda manipulative but I genuinely just don't use it maliciously. I use it to make sure people understand me a bit better, because even for a ND person I think I frustrate most people's sensibilities.