How are your nights going? Doing anything fun?

  • mar_k [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    also very depressed rn. i transferred universities and this is my first week at a much bigger school than my last one. pretty intimidated cus i dont really know people here, and i'm in the sophomore dorms where it seems like everyone already knows each other and has their established groups :/

    i went to a transfer meetup thing yesterday and got a couple instagrams and talked with someone for a little while, so that's promising, but now idk what to do. kinda wanna hang out again but i don't wanna come across as desperate dm'ing him at least for a couple days. he mentioned a rock climbing thing which i think i would be into.

    club fair starts on wednesnday so hoping to meet people there but so far i'm feeling extremely lonely this weekend and a constant fomo. nervous i'm not going to make connections this year because i'm either too awkward when i'm anxious or too chatty when i'm comfortable

    went on a starting dose of ADHD meds a couple weeks ago and they've been helping my social anxiety a good bit and maybe calmed my brain 20%, defo helping more than any anti-depressant meds ever have, but i'm still overthinking how things will go here at almost every moment and probably will be doing that all weekend. kinda just wish i could have a normal brain for once

    • mar_k [he/him]
      ·
      4 months ago

      also a couple frat boys tried to recruit me which surprised me because i dress somewhat alternative and they all look like clones. one gave me his insta and he had a group photo of like 25+ people where every single one of them was white despite our school being 50% poc, like wtf?

    • magi [null/void]
      ·
      4 months ago

      I hope you find some people to hang with, I'm glad the meds seem to be working for you too.

      • mar_k [he/him]
        ·
        4 months ago

        thanks, and yeah it's kinda like my brain is running 80mph instead of 100. ngl, i'm a little underwhelmed because i saw all these posts "first time i took adderall my inner monologue was quiet for the first time and i cried," "i was able to do a chore without repeating it in my head 40 times," "i finally felt present and out of my head when talking with someone," etc

        not expecting a miracle pill and i know i have to apply myself too, but everything is very subtle and i only feel slightly less scatterbrained. my psych said i seem to have severe ADHD but she wanted to see how it affected my anxiety and insomnia first (all of which it's minorly helped), so now i have to wait another 2 weeks to talk about raising the dose. wish i'd started this earlier but oh well

        • magi [null/void]
          ·
          4 months ago

          Better late than never, does sound like it has been helping. Hopefully the anxiety becomes more manageable and hoping you get sleep sorted too. I know it is usually baby steps with some meds but it does sound promising so far.

          2 weeks shouldn't take too long to go in so hoping things go smoothly for you and maybe get the dosage upped a bit more c: good luck!

    • OrionsMask [he/him, comrade/them]
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      edit-2
      4 months ago

      Hi friend. I know it seems hard right now but try to put yourself out there as much as you can, you'll thank yourself for it later. Do whatever you can to push through the anxiety and muster up the strength to talk to people and be social, in whatever way is available. You aren't annoying, you aren't desperate, you're just new and how you're feeling is completely understandable. The decent people know and understand that and there are loads of them. You can do it, good luck.

    • wheresmysurplusvalue [comrade/them]
      ·
      4 months ago

      University can feel really intimidating and lonely. Only advice I can give is be a little patient, there will be opportunities to meet people.