said commute takes 20-60 minutes depending on traffic (determined by someone at CalTrans rolling dice to see how many lanes they'll block off so six guys can stand around watching one guy do stuff in a hole) and I am so fucking sick of signing papers for cars and filing papers and endless mountains of more titles and folders to process coming in and the phone ringing literally all fucking day as people call in with the dumbest shit imaginable (hi there this is a person at the call center and I'm not sure what to do so I called you guys instead of my supervisor for some reason, hi there do you have the title for the vehicle we purchased at auction yesterday that said "title absent possible duplicate title application required" on the announcements, what do you mean it isn't there yet, can you give me information about a car that has all of its information listed on your website)
ha ha just doing a funny bit 
A massive chunk of my work-related stress would fucking disappear if I could take a light rail to work and get there in ten minutes
Sorry, best we can do is you walk 30mins to the bus which takes 1.5 hrs to reach where you want.
have you considered our $400 per trip helicopter taxi service?