Dear father. It has been a year since my last confession. Since then, I have
- Lied to my boss 300 times
- Disrespected my parents 12 times
- Got into arguments with my wife 56 times
- Masturbated 4,530 times
- Murdered trillions of children 4,530 times
- Called God’s name in vain 5,900 times
- Became nihilistic 40 times
- Participated in 95 gooning sessions
- Stolen from work 500 times
- Imagined my wife being naked 600 times
And I ask for forgiveness for any sins that I’ve forgotten to mention today.
Just tell him about some hot orgy you went to with detail about the fun you had, and how much you enjoyed it and can't wait to go back soon. Probably will get jealous or ask for videos.